New Title on Kinky’s Resume: Flip Flopping Politician

The Non-politician becomes what he condemns: a Strayhornesque Political Panderer

AUSTIN – Independent candidate, author and full-time comedian Kinky
Friedman has added Strayhornesque Pandering Politician to his extensive
resume. To date, Kinky has flip-flopped again and again on how he would
handle border security finally settling on the need to engage the
National Guard – ten months after Gov. Perry ordered the National Guard
to begin assisting local law enforcement in the border region.

“Kinky Friedman is a great entertainer and has showed Texans his
tremendous talent and range by being on many different sides of the
border security issue in the last year,” Perry spokesman Robert Black
said. “Border security is far too serious an issue for Texans to take
Kinky seriously.”

First, there was the 5 Mexican Generals Plan.

Kinky announces his “5 Mexican Generals Plan”
“We divide 679 miles of border into five jurisdictions,” Friedman
explained to the fans at the book-signing, leaving unexplained why he
wouldn’t apply it to all 1,300 miles of the Texas-Mexico border. “To
each jurisdiction we appoint a Mexican general. To each of them, we
hold $1 million in a bank account … And we withdraw $5,000 every time
we catch an illegal alien coming through his jurisdiction.” (San
Antonio Express-News, July 6, 2005)

Three days later, he doubles the cost
We’ll give them $2 million each. Each Mexican general can have $2 million. (CNBC Tim Russert, July 9, 2005)

Then he reverts back to the original cost
“And one suggestion was the five Mexican general’s plan which is to
appoint a general to divide the border into five sections and put a
general in charge of each, give them each a million bucks, hold it in a
bank for them, and withdraw $5,000 every time you catch an illegal
alien coming through his jurisdiction. (CNN Live, January 6, 2006)

Then he wanted twice as many generals participating
“Everything I say is serious, even the 10 Mexican generals.” (Austin American-Statesman, April 7, 2006)

Kinky changes the penalty to $25,000…
And every time we catch an illegal coming through his section or a drug
bust in his section, we dock him $25,000. (CNN In the Money, May 14,
2006)

…Then lowers the penalty to $10,000
”…he’d take away $10,000 for each immigrant who makes it illegally into Texas.” (Victoria Advocate, August 6, 2006)

Not $1 million, not $2 million, let’s make it $10 million per general
“He’d give each general $10 million…” (Victoria Advocate, August 6, 2006)

Finally, Kinky drops the idea altogether.
Robert Jones, DMN: Other candidates have policies on illegal
immigration that include use of the National Guard. Are you sticking by
your idea of paying Mexican generals to keep would-be illegals on their
side of the border?

Kinky Friedman: No. The Mexican government must step up to the
plate. Mexico is a rich country, and they should pay their fair share.
(Dallas Morning News, August 12, 2006)

Immigration Reform should come before Border Security… or should it?

Green Cards first…
“It’s a two-part plan for the border… First we reinstate the Bracero
program, where Mexican workers can get green cards and work here
legitimately… then comes my Five Mexican Generals plan…” (Texas
Monthly, August, 2005)

Illegal aliens are felons…well, maybe not

Kinky says illegal immigrants are felons
“On March 28, his campaign provided a statement describing Friedman as
favoring a guest worker program and language classifying illegal
immigrants as felons.” (Austin American-Statesman, April 7, 2006)

Kinky says illegal immigrants are NOT felons
Friedman said Tuesday that he never called immigrants felons, calling a
reporter “full of (expletive)” before apologizing. (Austin
American-Statesman, April 7, 2006)

Invasion?

“Israeli Discount”
Under this Kinky plan, Mexico would apparently face invasion by the
State of Texas much the same way Israel has invaded Lebanon. According
to the El Paso Times, Kinky has said that if he was elected governor of
Texas, he would make the Mexican government pay for the costs of
illegal immigration in Texas or face what he called the “Israeli
discount.” “We should be as ruthless as they are with the southern
border,” said the independent gubernatorial candidate, author and
musician. (El Paso Times, 09/03/06)

Finally, he throws in the towel…

Remember the Alamo
When the El Paso Times asked him about his own strategy for securing
the border, Kinky Friedman said, “I’m not sure. I don’t have a plan.”
But he went on to say that he said he would appoint people who care
about the state to develop a plan based on his motto: “Remember the
Alamo.” (El Paso Times, 09/03/06)

…but now the Governor is correct

Secure the border first
“Friedman said he agrees with Perry that the border must be secured
before changes in immigration law are considered.” (El Paso Times,
September 3, 2006)

4 Days Later…there is a new plan

Engage the National Guard
According to his press release on 09/06/06, Kinky is in favor of
”…increasing the number of Texas National Guard troops on the border…”
This idea comes 10 months after Gov. Perry enlisted the Texas National
Guard to assist in Border Security operations with local law
enforcement.